Wedding Overview

Well, it's finally over! I'm officially a married woman! And I have to say- it went really well. The reception was absolutely stunning, the food was delicious, and everyone commented on how beautiful and relaxed it was. We had no agenda, everyone was able to sit wherever they wanted, talk to whoever they wanted, and leave when they were ready. First off, here is a list of things I'm glad we did.

• My husband and I were the first ones there. Technically since it's your party, you can kind of arrive whenever. Many brides and grooms come in late. I liked getting there first, because I was the first one to see the reception set up (which was very calming since so many things had gone wrong), I was able to go over some details  and answer questions, I had time to change into my dress and touch up my make up, and we were able to eat some food before guests began to arrive.
• We kept the line short and sweet. First- I hate the reception lines that go on forever. I'm there to see the bride and groom. I don't know their mom, dad, brothers, sisters, aunts, cousins, grandparents, etc. And, that causes a problem for those who DO want to talk to those people, because trying will hold up the line.  Our line was me and my husband. That way everyone could talk to the people they knew and and wanted to talk to. Second- I had no interest in standing in one spot for three hours. It's a party! There's friends and family and food- I wasn't about to miss it for "tradition". We stood in line for probably twenty-thirty minutes, and then the flow of people coming in kind of stopped and we left our arch. We mingled with our friends and family- both together and separately- and ate some of the delicious food. As new people entered, I made a point to go over and say hello. It made everything feel so much warmer and more intimate, and I didn't feel so constricted. With all the weddings I've been to, I always feel kind of neglected by the bride and groom- So I'm glad I was able to act like a hostess and mingle. 
• We had no program or agenda. I was at a wedding just last night where everyone was freaking out about being on schedule, and how so many things needed to get done. We didn't do any of that; and it made for a much better atmosphere. We didn't cut the cake, or dance, or do bouquet/garter tosses, or have speeches, or do a big send off. We just let people visit and enjoy each other.
• We were the last people to leave. This one is definitely NOT normal, but I was glad. We weren't working or packing or anything awful- we were enjoying our friends. We sat and talked to people and ate food and didn't worry about anything else

Not everything went perfect though, and In retrospect, here is some advice I have to make the process go easier.

1.Lay out everything you will need to take with you. For me, there was a lot. I had my wedding dress, my temple bag/clothes, my luncheon dress, my makeup bag, my emergency kit, and my suitcase because we were leaving for the honeymoon directly after the reception. I thought I knew where everything was- but I didn't lay it out. So, the morning of, ten minutes before we are supposed to leave, I was outside in the moving van digging around for my bouquet and dress bag because my dad had packed everything without asking me (and called it "cleaning"). Also because of this, I forgot my garter, which I had custom made.

2. Go to bed early or don't go to bed. I went to bed around 12am, I had to be up at 2:50am. I pretty much wish I had just stayed awake. Sleeping in short bursts like that makes me grouchy- so I woke up feeling ill and cranky. Staying up would have left me in a better mood.

3. Make sure that you coordinate with your photographer on where you will meet. For about a month before the wedding, I kept trying to get a hold of my photographer and couldn't. On the night before my wedding she texted to confirm what time to be there. When my husband and I walked out of the temple, there was no photographer in sight. I called her, I texted her, I left voicemails...no answer.So I told my sister in law to take over. about an hour later, I tried calling again and she finally answered and was RUDE TO ME about how long she had been waiting; at which point I explained that we had been looking for/trying to contact her for almost an hour and someone else had had to take over.  To me, as a photographer, you should arrive early- maybe even before the bride, you should ask around to find the right party, and you should NOT go into the waiting room where no one can see you (unless you've already found your group)

4. Make 110% sure you have everything you need. After family pictures, everyone went home. My husband and I and my sister in law stayed to do pictures of me and him. After pictures were done, we went on our horse drawn carriage ride, and then suddenly my sister in law realized that she had put my husband's car keys into her father's pocket (without him knowing). We were stranded. We were two hours away from Orem (which is where we needed to go,) and the keys had already gotten all the way there. We ended up barely making it to the family lunch as it was time to clean up and go to the reception.

5.When things go wrong (and they will) don't freak out. I easily could have freaked about the photographer or the keys- but that would have just made me grumpy and ruined my day and no one would have been happy or able to enjoy themselves. Plus, those responsible already feel bad. Freaking out will damage relationships, handling the stress with grace will make them admire you.

6.Nothing will look the way you want it to. My hair was completely wrong, my makeup was wrong, the reception wasn't how I'd asked- but it was ok. It was all beautiful (except my makeup. my skin was having a huge tantrum that day) and I didn't need the extra stress of worrying about those kind of details

7. I bought way too much food. Which I should have seen coming, because I always do that...But I sent food home with my family, friends, and everyone who helped out and it was fine.

Weddings on the cheap: Average cost vs. the thrifty bride.

Where I live, the average wedding costs happy couple and/or parents  $28,671.00! Which, first of all, is insanity- and second- doesn't even include the honeymoon or rings! Yikes. Tack on those costs, and you have an average of $37,698.00. Some people (ME) really can't afford that kind of nonsense. We need to save our dollars that we bust our butts working six days a week for (True story, I work an average of 50 hours a week). So, I have decided to go through and break down how much I spent, what the average cost is, what I saved and how- for all the different categories.  I will also try to include images of my purchase

  *My average cost of  these wedding items is from the Association of Bridal Consultants in a research study done on January 1, 2014

Rings: $4,500.00 I didn't want a real diamond. They are expensive, pretty pointless, and $1,000 (1/3 of his YEARLY income) buys a very small, chintzy looking ring. Instead we purchased my big, beautiful, glorious ring at a steep discount at Kohl's. Everyone asks me how much it cost, how many carats it is and tells me how gorgeous it is. No one but me knows. I still haven't chosen a  wedding band yet, so I'll update on that when I get it. Jake's ring (black band on the left) cost me a whopping $13. Our total: $113.00 What we saved: $4,387.00

 

Wedding Planners: $2,491.00 Despite the popular belief, having a wedding planner is not mandatory. Your wedding will NOT fall apart and be a massive failure without one (Though I have had people literally tell me that to my FACE). I will not deny that wedding planners can be both helpful and useful- and there were times where hiring one was tempting- but I knew I could do it. The key is to stay organized, keep track of what you are doing and what needs to get done and to research research research. However, that being said; I do have a very close friend of mine who does weddings. She does it because she loves it, not for money and she was very happy to help with my set ups/ take downs.    Our Total Free What We Saved:$2,491.00

Photographs: $3,091.00– So many people think you HAVE to have a professional, but you don't. That being said, research out your choices. Even if someone does it for free- if they stink, it isn't worth it. The guy who did my engagements did an amazing job, and they are beautiful- but they really aren't my style

As you can see, they are still beautiful, well edited, professional looking pictures- and I'm ok with them being more casual and not exactly my style because they are JUST engagment pictures- and hey at 100% free, they were a great deal. That being said, I knew that I was definatley going to want someone else to do my bridals and wedding pictures. I posted on all my Facebook yardsale sites that I was looking for an inexpensive hobbyist that was looking to build their portfolio, and I happened across an amazing lady who was willing to do my beautiful bridals (4 hours worth of pictures!!) for $15. No joke.

Unfortunately, due to unforeseen circumstances, she wasn't able to make it to the wedding. My mother in law knew I was struggling to find a photographer in my budget- so as a surprise she gave me one as a gift (lol!).  I also ended up with my sister in law taking a lot of pictures as well. I haven't got any professional ones back yet- so the ones I'm showing my sister in law took. Photographers were by far the hardest part to find cheap. A lot of hobbyists are intimidated by the importance of the event and pressure to take great photos. Just be patient and keep your budget in mind!! Also- I downloaded the App WedPics, so that my guest could pool all their pictures of my showers, engagement, bachelorette party, wedding etc. into one place.

*If you do decide to hire a professional CHECK THEIR WORK FIRST. Always, professional or not- no matter what they cost. We almost had a photography disaster over here. My MIL decided to give us a professional photographer for our actual wedding pictures as a gift (she knew I was struggling); so she asked the lady driving our carriage if she has anyone she works with. She did, but he was unavailable. However, HE had a recommendation. My mother in law called this guy, decided on a price worked out details and then gave me a call. I asked if she had seen any of his work, and she said no- but he had come highly recommended and was a professional, so she assumed it would be fine. I told her I wanted to talk to him. She gave me his number and told me to hurry because she was about to send out his check. This felt all sorts of wrong to me. She was going to pay him, without seeing any of his work, and before receiving the goods? In my expeirence, thats how you get screwed. I told her to hold off and I gave the guy a call. He was really nice and cooperative. I told him I wanted to see some samples of his work and he willingly sent them to me. Wow. just wow....He was terrible.  The lighting was bad, the bride/grooms faces were shadowed, the pictures weren't flattering, they weren't posed at all, they had not been edited, the composition was bad...It honestly looked like the bride and groom and been at the temple and shouted to a passing stranger "Hey! Can you take a picture for us?" And handed him their cellphone. I'm really not exagerating. Any one of my guests could have taken pictures just as good or better- and here's the kicker. He wanted $250!! 
        Seriously be so so so careful. He was more money than I could afford and his shots were crap. My bridals and engagements were under $20, and they are beautiful. The word professional means nothing! always check for quality!!
Total for Engagement photos, Bridals, wedding photos and reception photos: $15 What We Saved:$3,075.00

Invitations, Stamps, Save the Date Cards, etc: $1,081.00 I found my invites on clearance and bought them in a kit. The first 100 were $10 for 25 cards, save the dates, and envelopes and were very nice. The other 75 were $5 a box, and are more simple, but just as elegant and include all the same stuff. Stamps were $79.50, but my Mother in Law has offered to pay for postage, so they won't count in my budget. I had my invites, small photos, thank you cards, bachelorette invites, shower invites, temple invites, luncheon invites, address labels, bachelorette detail cards, info cards, and special invites printed and cut out professionally for around $20 at Office Depot (they are so incredible!!) I had originally planned on printing them myself, but my printer broke -.- Total for 175 invitations: $65 Savings:  $1,016

Marriage License $70.00 ours was total: $55.00 Saved: $15.00

Ceremony Venue: $2,050.00 We are getting married in the LDS Temple, so our venue is free- other ideas are churches, parks, beaches, beautiful back yards, etc. Many venues will let you have both the ceremony and the reception there as part of a package deal.  Our Total: Free What We Saved $2050.00

Ceremony Officiator: $219.00 As I mentioned earlier, we are getting married in the temple, so this is also free for us. Not everyone will have the option of a free officiator- but check around. find someone who fits your needs and styles.  Our Total: Free What We Saved: $219.00

Reception Venue: $3,672.00 . Yikes. almost four grand just to use their building? I have decided on using the cultural center at my church, which is nice enough- and free. Other options are parks, backyards, beaches, lakes, camp grounds or places owned by the city, county or non-profit organizations (cheaper!). Our Total: Free What We Saved: $3,672.00

 Flowers, reception flowers, boutonnieres, bouquets, and centerpieces: $1,341.00 First off, I love Our Total $52.50 What We Saved: $1,288.50! (as a side note, when I was doing my bridals, my photographer asked if my bouquet was real. I told her it wasn't, but every time she touched it, she kept commenting on how real my bouquet felt and looked)

flowers. I have a floral(ish) shop on the side that does boutonnieres, corsages, wreaths, etc for way cheap. That being said- I did not make my flowers. I have flowers for my centerpieces, A beautiful bouquet, wrist corsages for the moms and my sister in law, and boutonnieres for my husband, his father, brother, step-father, and my father. I decided at the beginning of this adventure that I didn't want real flowers (I know, I sound white trash again). A lot of people have this idea that silk flowers are cheap, look cheap, feel cheap and will just look terrible overall- but there have been some amazing leaps and bounds in artificial flowers. Places like hobby lobby have flowers that look so real and feel so real- it's hard to believe they are fake. However, flowers like this can cost some bucco bucks (like 6-10 dollars per single stem). However, I went to Hobby Lobby, and found a selection of pre-made, high quality wedding flowers, in my colors (or at least close enough) too. They had boutonnieres, corsages and bouquets; and they were all 50% off. For my centerpieces, I didn't really care about the flowers looking real. I ended up finding nice enough flowers in my colors at my local Dollar Tree. Flowers for all my center pieces (with some to spare) cost me $12. Now, I did end up spicing up my bouquet a little with ribbon, a couple extra flowers, and a jeweled button- which probably cost me around $8 total,

Decorations for the wedding and reception: $467.00 Really research this part out. Get a good, 
 solid idea of what your style is, find some inexpensive ideas on pinterest- and then price compare like there is no tomorrow. For my centerpieces I'm using small Chinese paper lanterns as flower vases and putting them in a nest of tulle. I bought the tulle online- only $11 for an entire bolt! (tulleshop.com guys- amazing place) The flowers I got at the dollar store. I bought my arch at a 50% off sale (only paid $15), I bought a bird cage for cards, also $15 (normally $30), for additional decor I'm using my photo folding curtains, which I had on hand. Also, due to some incredible resources on Jake's side, I'm getting lent table linens, chair covers/sashes, cake platters, flameless candless, etc. Pool your resources!! OurTotal: $72 What We Saved $395.00

Reception food, drinks and accessories (including all wedding tips): $8,290.00 I mostly did my own food. I got lucky when it came to food- Jake had a close

 friend who's family happens to own a catering business. As a wedding gift, she made me sandwiches and a delicious young cheese dip that normally would have been out of my budget. She also loaned me the silver linens I uses. 
instead of doing a big meal (expensive), I opted to do veggie platters, berry bowls, cake, and lemon water. The food will probably cost me about $112 for everything. I bought my napkins online and spent about $7. It would have been more, but there was a mishap with colors- so I ended up with three free sets of napkins, and the company refunded my money. Plates, cups, utensils, bowls, champagne flutes cost $96 Our Total: $220 What We Saved: $8,070.00  

Tuxedo rental shoes and accessories: $382.00 This was not included in my budget- and here is why: I liked the look of the more casual suit and tie approach, So Jake decided not to rent a suit, but to buy one that he could wear for other purposes. Because he is buying something he will use other times, I'm not using wedding money for this. We don't have any groomsmen, ring bearers, etc. to rent tuxes for either.  Our Total: Free What We Saved: $382.00 (As a side note, the suit he ended up buying was $60, brand new)


Wedding dress,veil, accessories: $1,316.00

 Anyone who has been following my wedding chronicles already knows I bought my dress at a thrift store- but you can also look on ksl, classifieds of other kinds, yard sales, etc. I bought my birdcage veil on a 50% of sale; and I got my more traditional veil at a thrift store for $4. I also have a bolaro for my dress that I bought for $10. My wedding shoes were $40 Our Total: $76. What We Saved
$1,232.00

Gifts for bridesmaids and parents $344.00 . I don't have "official brides maids" And honestly, none of them helped me out very much, so I decided against gifts.   Neither of our parents are expecting gifts, since they know we are broke.  Our Total:  Free  What We Saved: $344
 .

 Wedding sign in book and guest favors. $321.00 I decided against doing guest favors, because really, the entire reception is for them. I already bought them food and cake. Plus, I don't think favors matter. I can't even remember if I got favors at weddings or not. For the guest book my fiance and I took our favorite engagement picture to walmart and had them make a puzzle. We  provided guests with pens, and a picture of the completed puzzle    Our Total:  $23 What We Saved: $298.00

Wedding cake $386.00 . I bought my main cake from Costco. It might  not have been a super fancy display worthy cake- but it fed the masses, and it will taste amazing. Serving 200 people cost about $72. hadn't planned on having much for a wedding cake- I was just going to make it myself, but it turns out that one of Jake's cousins makes wedding cakes. I also bought a cake cutting set $5, and a cake topper $15 Our Total: $92  What We Saved: $294

Entertainment $1,300.00 My mom had this amazing  CD of piano love songs and a small sound system, problem solved. For me I've never seen the point of a DJ, since you can do the same thing with an ipod.Our Total: Free What We Saved: $1,300.00

 Rehearsal dinners, and/or Wedding brunch: $865.00 I'm not going to be doing one, because I don't really think they are necessary unless you are actually planning the wedding and need to rehearse. If you want to do them, do the food potluck style and use a free venue, such as a home, backyard, church or park.  Our Total: Free What We Saved:$865.00

Videography $1,152:  Jake and I discussed this and decided against it for us. For me, videoing the reception really isn't that big of a thing- and we can't video the actual ceremony. It wasn't worth the extra effort for us.   Our Total: Free What We Saved: $1,152

 Hair, Makeup, manicure, pedicure: $178.00 I'm about to sound like white trash, and I know it- but bear with me. I love artificial nails- particularly gel nails. They are fantastic, but my nails grow really fast. I end up needing a back fill every 1-2 weeks. So at $30 dollars a set and $15 a fill every two weeks, I end up paying close to $60 per month, in my search to save money (here's the white trash part) I found some press on ones at Walmart. They are $6-$7 a set, there's tons of selection, they have multiple sizes and lengths, last a week, are super simple to apply- and they look like a real set of nails. Everyone asks who I go to to get my nails done. They also have toenail ones. So my mani/pedi for my wedding cost me about $11. My matron of honor is attending cosmetology/hair school- so she did my hair for free, and I did my own makeup Our Total: $11 What We Saved: $167.00

$281 .00 Hotel room(s)- I didn't provide hotel rooms for our families. Both of our parents have big enough homes that guests just stayed with them. Most of our guests were either close enough they just went home, or far enough they didn't make the trip at all.  Our Total: Free What We Saved: $281.00

Honeymoon: $3,700.00  - For our honeymoon, we went to Disney Land, and then a few weeks later we stayed in Park City in an amazing villa. The amazing thing about this is that for Disney Land, Jake's adopted father paid for it, and his mom owns a time share at the place in park city.Our Total: Free to us What we saved $3,700

 Total Average Costs: 33,753   Our Costs:779.50 (Note: This cost includes my rings, food, and marriage licence - which I am not including in my personal wedding budget. This is because: Jake pays for  the ring costs, not me; I have a separate food budget; and the licence is a required cost, no matter what; why spend my special day money on something I can't get married without? Cost without those things is $440) 
Total savings: $33,017.50

Wedding Drama Soap Box

I' getting married, I'm pretty sure we've established that. We've also discussed how I'm trying to save a lot of money on this project (which though it's a lot of work, has been going pretty well). Well today I have a disclosure for you:

Some people (yourself, your parents/ other people paying for the wedding, (hopefully) your fiance, etc) will appreciate your desire and ability/skills to save money. Others WILL NOT

I mentioned before that my MIL was trying to pressure me into a bigger cake, that I did not need; and that she hired a photographer, and a horse drawn carriage. Fine, I don't care. I'm a big girl. I said no to the cake, and graciously accepted the gifts of a photographer and the carriage. I'm flexible, and her mind is still set on the concept that $500 can't buy a wedding (but it really, really can).

I've had people tell me that if I don't hire a professional, my wedding will be a disaster and everyone will hate it and I will be miserable and regret it for the rest of my life. Fine. Some people aren't as capable as me. I thrive under pressure. I love big projects. I love to create and build and decorate and try new things. Not everyone can do that, and some people obviously had bad experiences with their diy weddings. Fine. Water off a ducks back.

But here's the one that gets me riled up. Angry enough to share it with you on my blog. This is what I woke up to this morning on my facebook.

"I see message and message about you wanting free stuff for your wedding because you can't afford anything. Dear, if you can't afford anything DONT get married. Your being so cheap. It's so tacky. Your obviously not ready for marriage. Get a better job. Go to school. Just wait. Soon we will see posts about you needing food because you can't afford that too. And than asking for free stuff for a baby because you can't afford diapers. God woman. You drive me nuts and we haven't even met."

 

 

....Are you fricken kidding me?  Someone who has literally NEVER met me, sent me a message through the yard sale sites I'm a member of to slam me for trying to save money. I was so furious. But I did the big girl thing. I didn't yell at her, instead I sent her a subtle, chastising email "Thank you so much for your concern about me, my wedding and family...etc" (which was hard because after she wrote me a nasty email, she blocked me....like that was gonna stop me. Seriously. What a coward.) and then I sent copies of her email to the admins of the yard sale groups.

 

But I'm still mad. I'm not cheap. I'm frugal (and yes, there really IS a difference). My wedding will probably be nicer than hers (btws, she is unemployed) and I'm not going into debt to do it. She has no right to attack my ability to take care of my future husband or children based off the fact that I'm trying to borrow, rent or buy cheap wedding items. Yeah, I could buy everything- but someone explain to me why I need to buy 15 strands of Christmas lights?? I don't I'd rather borrow or rent from someone who already has them.

 

Bottom line- some people are idiots. They are cruel, rude, self righteous and just plain stupid. They need to bash on someone else so they can feel good about themselves. They are bullies. There is nothing wrong with you. Be yourself, do what you can do. Don't let jerkwad people bully you into things you can' afford- and definitely DO NOT let them ruin your wedding. They so aren't worth it.

The Frustrated Bride- Top Frustrations I Encountered during the wedding process

1. Nosy/ oppinionated coworkers/people in general
2. Registering
3.Sending out Shower invites with the wrong dates
4. Having poor shower attendance (total of nine people showed up to my work shower. Of all my friends I invited- one came.)
5.Having people give me gifts not on my registry
6. Having said gifts be ugly as sin, and having no way to return them.
7. People expecting you to ask them for help instead of offering
8. Everyone going on trips and leaving you alone before big events (My parents, MIL, and Fiance were all out of town for my bridals and my first bridal shower)
9. unsolicited opinions from people you have never met on how your wedding should be, and how you should live your life (see wedding drama soap box for that story)

How I Got What I Wanted- When What I Wanted Was Over Budget

As I was planning my wedding, I had several visions for the aesthetics. There were definitely things that I fell irrevocably in love with. Exhibit A: Butter Mints. In Jake's family, after a meal you have gum or some sort of mint; that's just how it is. So I kind of wanted to provide some. Then I saw pictures like this one, and was overwhelmed by the image of beautiful, tasty pastel mints tucked into jars. The Problem: To buy enough mints was around $86. I could have pre boxed them- but then my desired affect is gone.
The Fix: I made all my mints. Does that sound insane? Guess what, I fell in love with making butter mints. They are so simple and so tasty and I can whip up a batch in just a couple minutes- and the ingredients are simple: Powder sugar, salted butter, cream, mint extract, butter flavor, almond extract, food coloring. Now the original recipe doesn't call for butter flavor or almond extract. I use butter flavoring because when you set the mints out to dry, if they have too much butter (oil that  can't evaporate) in them, they will stay soft (and while yummy, they will mush and make a mess). In order to get harder mints, I scaled down on the butter- but then I lost that delicious buttery richness. I use the butter flavor to get that taste, while still getting dryer mints.
the almond extract, I find, makes the mints taste richer and sweeter and really helps the mint flavor to pop. Once I saw the ingredients, there was no way I was going to pay anyone $86 for powder sugar and butter. I was worried it might be hard, because I've never made candy- but small children could do this.


Exhibit B: French macaroons. They are just so stunning and breath takingly gorgeous. They serve as a dessert and a centerpiece.  The problem: French macaroons cost about $1.75 A PIECE at the store. Even going through my special discounted connection, the were still $.50 a piece. My caterer said I could use them as my favors and put a cookie in a take away box- that way they'd only cost around $88.5 My issue with this though was that A: I have never eaten a french macaroon. They could be nasty. I was buying them for the glamour; because my girly girl, fancy sparkly elegance seeking heart wanted this ===>
If I boxed up individual macaroons, I wouldn't be able to have a beautiful tower like this, and if I'm not getting the look I want, why even bother? B. Each person gets one cookie. That feels SO chintzy cheap to me. I hate chintzy cheap. I hate cheapskate brides- and here's my big thing: You know something is out of your budget when you can barely scrape by. I can't ACTUALLY afford this beautiful concept and pretending I can by buying everyone ONE measly cookie just cheapens up everything and makes me look bad and poor. It's not classy. I'm a classy Bride. Oppulance is how you create the illusion of wealth

The Fix: I was pretty devastated and wasn't happy about letting my vision go, but I knew the macaroons weren't in my budget, so I began to search pinterest for different ideas and I somehow stumbled on this GEM.



So the picture on the left is the coveted french macaroons, but the picture on the right? Chocolate dipped oreos. Oh yes! Something that I can guarantee will taste yummy,  is beautiful, gives me the look I want and best of all- that I can afford!! Enough cookies for every guest to have three (3!!) would cost me around $60....Yeah, that I can do. I mean sure, it will take a lot more effort- but you know all your bridesmaids, friends, neighbors, aunts, cousins,mom's friends (etc) that keep asking if you need any help or is theres anything they can do? Have an oreo dipping party. Have them dip a thousand oreos for you or with you.

Exhibit C: The Garter. I'm a glam girl- I can't help it; I was born with glitter in my veins. I have always found traditional garters to be ugly, plain and chintzy looking. I was actually planning on kiboshing the whole thing when I saw this picture on pinterest . I was stunned by its beauty and elegance. I wanted one....(The Problem:)Until I saw how much these go for. For something like this, you will easily pay $42 or more. Yikes.
The Fix: I made my own. I bought tulle in the color I wanted, a diamante (the center jewel) some chain, and elastic and found a friend who knew how to sew.

Bachelorette Activities That Are Actually Kind of Cool

Fashion Designer: This one totally cracked me up. Basically you buy a bunch of sharpies and a pack of tighty whities. Everyone designs "sexy lingerie" for the groom. At the end, the bride judges them and the creator of her favorite gets a prize. We played this at my party and it was SO FUN. I got weird looks and rude comments from my friend's sister (but she's kind of a brat anyway)- but we had fun. My friend's used colored sharpies, glue, glitter, and even lipstick and we laughed so much and had such a great time.














Sex Pot: Not really a game, but something I want to do. Provide guests with peices of paper and pens and have them write down sexual tips and advice for the bride- then place in the pot for her to read later.







Panty Game: Each guest brings a pair of new panties that either describes them/ will remind the bride of them. The bride goes through and tries to guess who brought what. Anyone she doesn't guess gets a prize









Kisses for the Mrs. As a memento of the night, get a frame with a white matt. Have all the attendees kiss the frame with bright lipstick- then take a picture of everyone to go in the frame.






Memory Lane: Everyone writes down their favorite or best memory with the bride, then puts them in a hat. They are then drawn out by the bride and read outload while guests try to guess who did what with the bride

My Wedding "To Do" List

Obviously not all of these will apply to everyone- but here is a list, in no particular order, off all the things I need to do to prep for my wedding.

Go ring Shopping
Buy Napkins
Make appointment with ob/gyn
Make center pieces
buy lanterns
buy flowers
buy arch
buy bouquet
finish boutonnieres and corsages
fix veil
finalize menu
set up engagement photo appointment
make guest list
get passport
choose cake
Make registries
get gift card holder
find someone to make cake
get puzzle made
find suit/tux for Jake
buy Jake's ring
book temple
Take invite to post office to check price
book church
address envelopes
send out invites
get invites printed
make invites
buy stamps
buy address labels
get prints for invites
find location for bridals
find photographer for bridals
find photographer for engagements
find photographer for wedding
print labels
dye hair
find shoes
do nails
find veil
set appointment for bridals
make signs
talk to neighbors about helping
look for mints
take pictures of how set ups should look/ write instructions
create list of items that need to go and (more importantly) come home
Make list of people for Jake to contact
make list for MiL to contact
make utensil rolls
Coordinate plans with helpers
compile all instructions and details
call M. about cake
Ask people to look for mints at stores
Have Jake round up last minute invitees
call people about decorations I'm borrowing
Make list of people to call instead of me
Find bachelorette photographer
Make appointment with bishop
find out postage to foreign countries
Take Jake's measurements for suit alterations
Buy dishes, utensils and napkins
buy waxing kit and try waxing
make butter mints
make appointment with stake president
apply for marriage licence
Take out endowment
look into buying more tulle
paint folding curtains
look for Christmas lights
do boudoir photos
Take bridal, bachelorette, and engagement pictures to be printed
Call wedding photographer
Call carriage driver
call gyno about bc
make wedding emergency kit
Get temple dress and accessories
buy wedding dress
make garter
hem Jake's pants
finish invites
Talk to coordinator
look for wedding band
buy tulle
buy punch fountain
buy cake platters
find picture frames
meet with caterer

My Top 20 Money Saving Secrets

So Many times I will see blog posts titled things like "How I had an inexpensive wedding" or tips and tricks to have a beautiful wedding on a tight budget", etc. Here are my problems with those posts:
1. the budgets provided are 3x+ mine.    2. a great deal of how they saved money is stuff like "My mom is a caterer, my sister is a professional photographer, My aunt runs a motel"....Well gee. That really helps me, doesn't it?
       So because of the complete lack of useful info out there, I have decided to make this post of my Top 20 ways to ACTUALLY have a low budget (and still beautiful) Wedding.

* If you would like to see pictures of my dress, ring, decor,photos, etc. AND how much each category of my wedding cost, Check out my Weddings on the Cheap: Average Cost vs.  The Thrifty Bride post



1. Save save save.When I was 19 years old, I decided I wanted to get married. I didn't know to whom, or when- but I knew that I wanted to, so I made a special account at my bank, and every paycheck I put $20 into my wedding fund. Now, at 23, My wedding is completely paid for, And so is most of the honeymoon. This way, spending the cash on the wedding doesn't hurt me, because it's not coming out of my current cash flow. Start saving as early as possible, and make your amount something doable. Trying to put huge amounts in will be hard if you have a little income

2. Set a Budget: I had mine set long before I even met my fiance, but you can sit down with him and your parents or whoever and do this too. Figure out how much you REALLY want to spend. Don't think about costs you know, or compare weddings of relatives. Pretend we live in a perfect world where you can find amazing deals on everything. Consider what to you sounds like A LOT of money. I make minimum wage. A thousand dollars sounds like a lot. Whenever I think about spending more than that on a wedding I cringe. There's so much more I could do with that money that I would enjoy more. Go through your current expenses and decide how much you can afford to spend WITHOUT GOING IN DEBT. Trust me, debt is bad. Don't do it

3. Give yourself "Wiggle Room": My budget is insanely low. Not because I can't afford more- I could if I wanted to. By budgeting so low though, I challenge myself to try harder to save money. However, because I budgeted for way less than I can afford, If I do go a little over budget and spend say, $600 dollars- I'm not in trouble. The only thing that suffers is my pride- knowing I couldn't do it. If your budget is something you can barely afford, like $5,000 for example; there isn't room for error. if you go over you could risk going into debt. If you fall in love with something that is a bit outside your budget, you may have to give it up. Budgeting for more than you can afford or barely what you can afford might make you feel like you can be looser with the money (I like these cups, I'll just buy them, I have enough money), and in the long run might restrict you more.

4. Use a Debit Card: I didn't personally use this one, because by the time I heard about it it was too late- but I really wish I had. Set up a debit card that goes straight to your wedding account, and use only this card to pay for your wedding purchases. This will help you better track your budget, cut down on confusion, and allow you to track where your money is going.

5. Research. research research research. Look up facts things like how much food to serve at a party, how many people to REALLY plan on (little hint: My caterer friend said that you take the number of invites you actually sent- and that's about how many to plan on. some say to add 20, just to be safe). Spend time writing down who you want to invite, and get an educated idea of what you want and what you are doing. The most popular advice you will get on other (bogus) money saving wedding blogs is to invite 100 people or less at your wedding. I fell into that trap thinking "oh that makes sense, less people, less expense. When I sat down though and wrote out just the names of my FAMILY (grandparents, cousins, uncles and aunts ONLY) I was at 70 invites...Well I sure wasn't going to cut out any of my family members, and I wasn't going to ask Jake to cut his list down to 30. Plus, what about all my friends? What about his friends? Nobody, including me, would have been happy. The more I researched and planned, the more I realized this tip is BOGUS. Instead of not inviting anyone, don't serve a full meal, or expensive foods.

6. Have a solid plan FIRST: Being a bride is exciting, there's so much to do, and if you are doing this on your own like me- your natural instinct is to get out there and get stuff done. Stop. One of my biggest regrets is that I ran right out and bought items before having a solid, well thought out plan. I bought cups for my drinks, bowls for my berries, plates for my cake, and cups for my jello- then realized I wasn't going to use jello. So now I had all these empty cups. I decided to put the berries in the cups, then I could use the bowls for vegetables. Well now I've decided to have sandwiches as well. If I use the plates for sandwiches; 1. I have nothing to put the cake on and 2. Why do the vegetables need their own bowl? See the problem? I bought a lot of things simply because I was just excited to start planning my wedding. Don't do that. Be smart and think it out completely before you buy ANYTHING. Be sure to identify your personal style too. Do you want rustic, shabby chic, vintage, classic, etc. Deciding this early will help everything look more cohesive, expensive and well planned.

7. .Start Collecting: Before I even met my fiance, I was on the look for really good deals on wedding stuff. I also used opportunities like Christmas and my birthday to ask for things that would be useful for my wedding (Crystal platters, punch bowls, cake plates, etc) Be sure though that you have already done tip five and six, or this might end up costing more in the long run.

8. Pool your resources. Talk to your mom, dad, cousins, uncles, aunts, grandparents, neighbors, co-workers, fiance's family as soon as you possibly can. Chances are some of them have awesome talents, or friends with awesome talents, that would be more than happy to help you out. Women especially like being involved in weddings. This is one that I seriously wish I had done sooner. It's due to pooling my resources that my wedding has exploded. As it turns out, Jake has a cousin who makes wedding cakes, a cousin who runs a horse drawn carriage business, a cousin who rents out decorations to brides, a close friend who runs a catering and wedding business, etc.Going over these details will save you a ton of time and money

9. Analyze What Goes Into The Budget: Here's something a bit unorthodox that I did: Just because I bought it for the wedding, didn't automatically mean it came out of my wedding budget.
Here was my system: Is this something I will use a lot? Is this something I need? Is this something I would buy myself anyway? If I don't buy this now will I buy it later? Items that were excluded from my budget: cake platters, apothecary jars, temple clothes, punch fountain, Jake's suit, etc. why? They were all items I knew I would use a million times over, and they were all things I had wanted long before the wedding. I also realized if I didn't buy them now, I would buy them later
  
10. Identify your dream: When I first started planning my wedding I heard some advice. "When you picture your dream wedding, what is it that makes it your dream? Is it the dress, the venue, the cake? Pick the center of your dream and splurge for it. Skimp on everything else. This is such great advice. In my head I see such a sophisticated, beautiful wedding. Everything is sleek, suave, expensive. The venue is gorgeous, I look amazing, I'm mingling with guests like this is some high society soiree. I have an awe inspiring cake, a harp player, and all the bells and whistles. Yeah, that's going to happen. So I started going through my dream wedding and cutting out all the things that aren't important enough to me to spend boo-coo bucks on. Do you know what I ended up with? Jake. With all my dreaming, the only thing that really mattered was that Jake and I were getting married. Sappy, huh? After that it was food. I spent more money than I needed to on my dishes (though they are still plastic and paper) to get a more sophisticated look- and I don't regret it. Be choosy. Decide what is most important to you, and spend the money.

11.A Wedding Is A Party: This is a detail a lot of brides tend to forget.While it may be the biggest, fanciest party you ever throw- it still is just that; a party. . And believe it or not, a party is about the guests, not the hostess. I love elegance and presentation as much as the next girl; but I also realized that in five, ten, fifteen years- no one is going to remember what my colors were, what my dress looked like, what foods I served, If I had a DJ, or If the ceilings and walls were pretty. Things that will be remembered: How much work the wedding was, If the bride was selfish, If the guests had a good time. No matter how big or small, the goal should always be to make sure your guests enjoy themselves. You can have a million dollar wedding with all the bells and whistles, but if your guests have a miserable time; it's still going to be a big flop. Money doesn't buy happiness- and appearances aren't everything. A lot of brides think they need to" keep up with the Jones' ". You Don't.

12.  Some Corners Are Meant to Be Cut: Tradition? Bah Humbug! Guess what? this is your day (which people will love to remind you). Go through all the weddings you have been to/ seen and edit them to your liking. Cut out things you hate. Not only can this save you stress, embarrassment, time and make for a happier bride (and therefore happier guests), but it can also save you money. Things we cut: Dancing (no need for dance lessons, a DJ, or a dance floor), ring ceremony (no need for flower girl:dress, basket, flowers, Ring bearer: pillow, tux) speeches, toasts (no need for champagne or fancy drinks, or microphone), formal introductions, garter toss/ bouquet toss (no need for spares), agendas (no need for programs), decorating cars.

13. Be Wary of the words "Bridal" and "Wedding" Two big things I learned are 1. Everyone is really proud of their work and thinks it's worth a lot of money 2.Put the word "bridal" or "Wedding" in front of ANYTHING and it instantly doubles in price. Don't be gullible.

14.  Price Check Do your research, look at multiple stores. I wrote down in a note book what stores had what items, what the prices were and what the quantities were. Then I bought each item from the cheapest stores.

15.  Cut "Unnecessary" Costs: Costs I cut: My ring, flowers, decor, photography, cake, wedding dress, venue, invitations, food (kind of). Decide what you personally are ok with. I was ok with having a CZ ring (they can be so beautiful and only jewelers can tell they are cz if you get a good one), I was ok with buying my decor at thrift shops, yard sales, dollar stores, and ebay. I was ok with getting my dress at a thrift shop. I was ok with (high quality) silk flowers. I was ok with using my church for the reception. I was ok with borrowing things from people. If you think about it and aren't ok with those things, don't do them- but if you are, it's a great way to save thousands.

16. Shop Cheap. Use coupons, shop sales, go to stores like NPS (stores for damaged goods, overstock, etc.When shopping here, be picky! check expiration dates, be sure you know what you want. These stores can be hit and miss as they don't have a solid inventory), thrift stores, dollar stores, the Internet etc.This is how I saved  most of my money. I didn't pay full price for anything. I cut coupons, enlisted friends to use their coupons, and shopped sales (Hobby Lobby is great for this. They're merchandise is frequently 50% off, and you can get a 40% off coupon anytime)

17. Be sure. When you decide to cut a cost, be sure it's what you want. I scored my dress for $25, which is an amazing deal- but I'm not in love with it. In fact it's the only thing I'm not really in love with. It's good enough, and it's lovely, and I'm sure I won't buy a new one- but I wish I had shopped around a little more. Saving money doesn't do a whole lot of good if you aren't happy; because chances are, you'll end up re buying.

.

 18. Professionals Are A CHOICE: Since being engaged, so many people have tried to pressure me into hiring professionals. some people have even gone so far as to tell me (to my face) that if I didn't hire a professional wedding planner, my wedding would be a huge, horrible disaster and I'd regret it forever...um wow. two major things you need to remember is that 1. Everyone is really proud of their work and thinks it worth a lot of money (professional or not), 2.People are sheep. If something is considered "the norm" then clearly, it's the only way something could ever be done. If you want to hire a pro, that's fine- just keep in mind Cakes are $300 and up, photographers are $100-$300+ easy, Florists are $200+, etc etc. When considering "wedding professionals" (DJs, decorators, makeup artists, hair stylists, caterers, wedding planners, etc) Ask yourself how much you REALLY need them. Do you need a DJ, or can you just make an Ipod playlist? Do you need a decorator or can you plan things out with the help of your family/friends? Do you need a makeup artist/hair stylist, or do you have a friend/ sister that can do it? can you do it yourself? Do you really need to have food catered or can you make it yourself in advance? Do you actually NEED a wedding planner?

19. Graciously Accept Help: There are so many people who will want to help. Let them. It's great to want to be independent- but weddings take a lot of time, effort, and money and cause a lot of stress. Delegate. Let people lend/give you things. Let them make food. It makes them feel useful and needed and will keep you from going insane


20. Stand Your Ground. This is the one I'm struggling with right now. My friends and family are either middle class or on the poorer side. I have never had much for money, and I've made do just fine. My fiance's family though, has some monies...and that's where things get complicated. People have this set way of thinking "Weddings are a lot of money" "This is YOUR day, it should be everything you want" people seriously expect you to spend a butt load of cash on your wedding because that is the "norm". When people hear my budget, there eyes go wide, then all pitying- like "oh that poor girl with no money. She'll be married in rags in some dingy alley and her guests will all starve." No. They try to convince me I need things. But I don't. My reception will be nice, I will have healthy food. I have a beautiful dress. The point is, don't give in. This is YOUR wedding, and no one should make you spend more than you can afford.
   
           

          

16.

Wedding Updates

Weddings are hard. The harder I work, the longer my list of things I need to accomplish gets. As we've discussed before, I don't have lots of money- and right now (due to my own personal choice) I'm unemployed because planning the final details of my wedding (which is only 24 days away folks!) , while working full time 6-7 days a week was just too much.
        Due to my lack of funds- I always planned on a small diy wedding.....That's not what's happening.  I'm still having my inexpensive wedding, but I've given myself some wiggle room. For example my budget is significantly less than I'm willing to spend, at $500. I have probably gone a little bit over budget by now and spent $600. oh no. My point is that by giving myself a tighter budget, I can analyze and decide if something is worth the money, and I try harder to find better deals so that I can get as much as possible for my cash- but if I do go over budget sightly, it's not catastrophic because I have a cushion.
            One piece of advice I have, that I did not personally use because I didn't find it until after I was mostly done was that once you have your budget set, take the money and put it in a account set up with a debit card and ONLY use that card (aka THAT money) for all your purchases. That way it's easy to track your budget and you don't get confused and mixed up on what purchases were for your wedding, or where the money was spent- etc.

           Have a solid plan FIRST: One of my biggest regrets is that I bought items before having a solid, well thought out plan. I bought cups for my drinks, bowls for my berries, plates for my cake, and cups for  my jello- then realized I wasn't going to use jello. So now I had all these empty cups. I decided to put the berries in the cups, then I could use the bowls for vegetables. Well now I've decided to have sandwiches as well. If I use the plates for sandwiches; 1. I have nothing to put the cake on and 2. Why do the vegetables need their own bowl? See the problem? I bought a lot of things simply because I was just excited to start planning my wedding. Don't do that. Be smart and think it out completely before you buy ANYTHING

Pool your resources. Seriously guys- I wish I had done this sooner. I spent money on all this stuff; and then I got talking to my fiance and his mom. Turns out, he has a cousin who makes wedding cakes, a cousin who runs a horse drawn carriage business, a cousin who rents out decorations to brides, a close friend who runs a catering and wedding business...For real? All these people were more than happy to help me out. The caterer friend was willing to help with decor, food, thank you cards, invites, favors, grand exit, etc....if only I'd known. I could have saved myself so much money and got much nicer things. Live and learn right?

Its due to the pooling resources that my wedding has exploded: Professional cake, chandeliers, bistro lights, draperies for the ceiling, silver crushed fabric table cloths, chair covers/ sashes, back drops for the wedding arch, horse drawn carriage, wedding coordinator to make it all happen- my wedding isn't exactly small anymore.. But that isn't bad. I recently crunched my numbers and realized I'm actually UNDER BUDGET!! :D which means I can make some little splurges here and there (Nothing big, I only have two hundred twenty dollars left). Here's the thing though, I micro annalyzed my purchases. A lot of things I bought didn't go into my wedding budget.

Here was my system: Is this something I will use alot? Is this something I need? Is this something I would buy myself anyway? If I don't buy this now will I buy it later?

Items that were excluded from my budget: cake platters, apothacary jars, temple clothes, punch fountain, Jake's suit, etc. why? They were all items I knew I would use a million times over, and they were all things I had wanted long before the wedding. I also realized if I didn't buy them now, I would buy them later.

A Guide to Showers & Bachelorette Parties- Why Parties & Guests Are Your Friends

This is going to sound totally rude- but its true, so, Sorry, but I'm not sorry.

A lot of brides will skip the bridal shower or the bachelorette party. Don't.

• You aren't hosting or paying for these parties (at least you shouldnt be)- so it won't hurt your budget
• You spent all that time and effort making registries. More parties=more gifts.  (Rude huh)

There's a movie I saw that says "I guess it [in reference to wedding gifts] is like a investment fund, we put money in, that we hope to get back some day when we get married."

pretty much, it's a circle of life- and honestly I'm pretty broke. I need some stuff I can't really afford, and all the help I can get is great.

Have Showers and a bachelorette party: For some reason when I was growing up, I always thought you had either or. But the idea of inviting my wild and crazy friends to a shower with my aunts made me cringe (trust me, I already know the kinds of gifts they'll get) and visa versa. Then I had the revolutionary idea: Why not have both. Invite the more civilized people to a sophisticated shower- then get crazy with your girls later. As a bonus, I've made sure to let them know they're gifts are acceptable at the bachelorette party ;)

Let People Throw You Showers: Obviously my MoH was going to throw me a shower. But then my co-worker decided she wanted to throw one too...And while I was out delivering invites a Lady in my ward decided she wanted to throw me a ward shower (other girls had gotten them, and she didn't want me to fall through the cracka and be left out; which is very sweet) And I told them all yes. More showers=more guests which= more presents. Plus that way, one person won't be overwhelmed by having to host EVERYONE on my list all at once.

Have Fun!! I'm really excited for my parties (particularly my bachelorette party) because no one has ever thrown me a party before. I usually have to do all the work- and believe it or not it sounds kind of nice to get to be the center of attention and not have to worry about being a hostess, or set up or costs. Also, I haven't seen most of these people in a long time/ don't get to see them often. I'm excited to chat and relaxe with people I know and love. And of course, I'm excited to binge, laugh, hang out and party with my girls like the good ol' days. Since we grew up and became adults, we haven't done much of that.

Make Sure the Hostess Knows What You Want I'm by nature a non-conformist. I hate being forced into doing things- and shower games are for sure NOT my thing. I think they are lame and stupid. In my pinteresting though, I have found some ideas I like. If you have stuff you want and don't want- let your hostess know

Have A Scribe appoint someone as record keeper. Have them write down the item , giver and what party (bachelorette, wedding, shower) you recieved it at. This will make things a million times easier when it comes time for thank you cards- especially if you recieve multiple gifts from that person.

Invite Everyone. While my reception and wedding are researved for close friends, family, and other special people- pretty much everyone I have ever met has been invited to my showers. That way if they come, more gifts. If they don't, oh well- but at least they feel included.

What No One Tells You about Registries

I'm going to let you in n a little secret that no one will ever tell you- wedding registries are HARD. I was there too- A new bride to be, all excited to nest into her first place, marry the man she loved and get lots of great stuff she didn't have to pay for. For some reason we all seem to have this idea that you just breeze on in to a store, grab a registry gun and walk around hand in hand with your fiance, playing lazer tag with the scanners and wahlah presents! (I think Hollywood may be to blame for this) But boy did I get a reality check. So, Here are some of my tips to make this a smidgen less of a nightmare.

1. Do your research. Walk around your parent's/ sister/brother's/aunt's/grandparent's/married friends houses and identify all the thing you can't live without, wish you had, or are accustomed to having. Search the Internet for registry lists or ask your married friends/relatives what they registered for or what they wish they had registered for.

     2. Make A list. Long before you head to the stores, write down everything you want or need. To make this easier on yourself, group them into categories or rooms (or both) put all the bathroom stuff together, kitchen, living room, etc. This will help you from accidentally skipping over items when you start the registry. Also make several copies of this list so you can cross off each item as you register for it at each store- and have a blank one to cross off items as you get them. This will make it easy to see what you still need to buy with any gift cards/money from returns you might receive.

   3. Style. Determine what your color scheme and style is  before you start to register. Have in mind what you want each room to look like- this will save you time in the long run because you can look only at black toasters instead of all of them at once. This will also help things match.

  4. Decide where you want to register. This is important to know beforehand. I suggest choosing 2-3 places because it's very possible one store won't have everything you want. Call ahead before you go and find out:

• If they do registries
• If they have a functioning scanner (One of my stores didn't)
• How long your registry stays open after the wedding. Etiquette says a guest can send a gift up to a year after.
• Make an appointment to ensure you get to register

  5. Register for Everything. Jake lives in an apartment with some roommates, so he has his own dishes, microwave, toaster etc; but I'm registering for all that stuff anyway because
                1) Jake is a college student his belongings are...eclectic (to put it nicely) and worn. Buying new stuff will ensure that everything matches, and is functional
                2)If no one buys us the new replacement items, we still can use the old ones to get by until we can afford new ones- but if they do buy us new stuff I can sell the (nicer) old ones at a yard sale and get money for things we need.

6. Don't Do it All At Once. It's tempting, and I did it- but I have something like 63 days before my wedding- so I'm rushed. Trying to do it all in one shot is exhausting, it's frustrating and you will get cranky (I'm pretty sure I bit Jake's head off more than once, and even cried). It's not fun or fast or easy like it looks in movies. You're making a lot of big decisions and wading through tons of crap to find what you want. This will take time. Days. It took me four days  (mostly after work, so close to 50 hours total) to complete mine.

7. If You Want it, Register for it. When my fiance and I finally went together, he floated towards the electronics and was fidgeting with the scanner. I asked him if he wanted to scan something and he nodded and told me a ps4- but that he knew no one would buy it, so he shouldn't bother, and that registries weren't for that and that he shouldn't register for selfish "for him" items. I told him to do it. It takes 3 seconds to scan, and if no one buys it, it doesn't hurt us any. If they do- he got something he really wanted, that we can't afford. Not every gift has to be useful, some can be just for fun. My MoH registered for a freezer- and got it. She said it was the thing she was the most happy about registering for. She also registered for movies, and regrets not registering for more.

8. He Doesn't Care- and that's ok. Save yourself a bucket load of stress right now by realizing that your wonderful fiance loves you, he really does- and it's not personal that he doesn't understand why it is so important the appliances match, or what color the guest towels are. Don't pick fights with him or stress over it- guys just don't really care about those kind of details- and if he does have an opinion- listen to him, ask why he does or doesn't want an item, or why he thinks something else is better. Explain how you plan to decorate and make sure he approves- but don't fret if he shrugs or says "what ever you like" or "If you're happy I'm happy." It means he trusts you and doesn't hate it. If he hates it, he'll let you know (probably).

9. Register in all price ranges. This one is the obvious one that everyone tells you. Register for cheap things and expensive things. Some people will buy a bunch of little things and give them to you together, some people will want to group together and buy you a big item, and sometimes, people's generosity will just plain surprise you.

and now onto my big, personal tips..

 

 

10. Register online. This may sound like a bit of a hassle, and it kind of is. It probably takes longer than traditional registering- but here's why I like it.

• I can do it in my pajamas, while laying in bed
• I can eat and drink while doing it, which helps keep stamina up- trust me, you will need this
• I can compare prices and stores instantly
• I can read reviews on each item, or look it up on other sites for reviews
• I can do research on items, like how big a 1.3 cubic foot microwave is, or what to look for in an iron
• I can do it at my convenience. I work until 6 pm, and I don't want to spend my Saturdays with Jake registering at stores. This way I can start after work and go until I'm tired without worrying about store hours or other people.
• I can instantly see all the products the store offers, and narrow it down by color, price, etc.
• It's easy to edit, alter and change
• If/when you decide to go to those stores in person, you can skip the set up process and just get started (which will save you OODLES of time)

10. Register at Bed Bath and Beyond FIRST. When someone I knew registered there, I thought they were being snobby. All the items on their registry could be bought at walmart for 1/3 the cost. I thought it was a pride thing. When I talked to my Matron of Honor, she told me she didn't register there for that reason, and because she didn't think there was anything there that she needed. Wow, we were so wrong.

 

• Bed Bath and Beyond has everything. Jewelry, pet supplies, grills, microwaves, massaging cushions, beauty products, fryers, fine china, you name it- they got it.
• Their site is SO easy to use. It is organized, quick and user friendly. It was by far the best registry experience I had.
• They have registry incentives. If you receive so many dollars worth of certain brands- that company will send you free gifts (just for getting gifted their stuff)! Gifts include hostess sets, wine goblets, utensils, etc.
• They offer consultants if you go in in person

My advice is to go through your list at Bed Bath and Beyond first, then if you can't find items you like or want, use target or walmart (or other similar stores) to fill in the blanks.

*As a warning- registering online at walmart was the worst experience I have ever had. I spent 12 hours STRAIGHT working on my online registry there, and completed one room. If you want to use them, know exactly what you want before hand.

**As a side note, if you go to Target in person to register (which I did for a few last minute items) they give you a small stack of very cute thankyou cards, some coupons, and a card for 10% off everything left on your registry after the wedding.


11. Multiples when I was going through things, I'd find several lamps I liked- so I registered for them all. I can go through later and delete the ones I don't like as much. Same goes for registering for similar items at different stores. When you are done registering, go through and clean it up. This will save time and stress in the long run.