Sunday, June 22, 2014

Wedding Drama Soap Box

I' getting married, I'm pretty sure we've established that. We've also discussed how I'm trying to save a lot of money on this project (which though it's a lot of work, has been going pretty well). Well today I have a disclosure for you:

Some people (yourself, your parents/ other people paying for the wedding, (hopefully) your fiance, etc) will appreciate your desire and ability/skills to save money. Others WILL NOT

I mentioned before that my MIL was trying to pressure me into a bigger cake, that I did not need; and that she hired a photographer, and a horse drawn carriage. Fine, I don't care. I'm a big girl. I said no to the cake, and graciously accepted the gifts of a photographer and the carriage. I'm flexible, and her mind is still set on the concept that $500 can't buy a wedding (but it really, really can).

I've had people tell me that if I don't hire a professional, my wedding will be a disaster and everyone will hate it and I will be miserable and regret it for the rest of my life. Fine. Some people aren't as capable as me. I thrive under pressure. I love big projects. I love to create and build and decorate and try new things. Not everyone can do that, and some people obviously had bad experiences with their diy weddings. Fine. Water off a ducks back.

But here's the one that gets me riled up. Angry enough to share it with you on my blog. This is what I woke up to this morning on my facebook.

"I see message and message about you wanting free stuff for your wedding because you can't afford anything. Dear, if you can't afford anything DONT get married. Your being so cheap. It's so tacky. Your obviously not ready for marriage. Get a better job. Go to school. Just wait. Soon we will see posts about you needing food because you can't afford that too. And than asking for free stuff for a baby because you can't afford diapers. God woman. You drive me nuts and we haven't even met."
....Are you fricken kidding me?  Someone who has literally NEVER met me, sent me a message through the yard sale sites I'm a member of to slam me for trying to save money. I was so furious. But I did the big girl thing. I didn't yell at her, instead I sent her a subtle, chastising email "Thank you so much for your concern about me, my wedding and family...etc" (which was hard because after she wrote me a nasty email, she blocked that was gonna stop me. Seriously. What a coward.) and then I sent copies of her email to the admins of the yard sale groups.
But I'm still mad. I'm not cheap. I'm frugal (and yes, there really IS a difference). My wedding will probably be nicer than hers (btws, she is unemployed) and I'm not going into debt to do it. She has no right to attack my ability to take care of my future husband or children based off the fact that I'm trying to borrow, rent or buy cheap wedding items. Yeah, I could buy everything- but someone explain to me why I need to buy 15 strands of Christmas lights?? I don't I'd rather borrow or rent from someone who already has them.
Bottom line- some people are idiots. They are cruel, rude, self righteous and just plain stupid. They need to bash on someone else so they can feel good about themselves. They are bullies. There is nothing wrong with you. Be yourself, do what you can do. Don't let jerkwad people bully you into things you can' afford- and definitely DO NOT let them ruin your wedding. They so aren't worth it.

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